Richard had just got finish having sex with this brotha he met down at his favorite gay hangout spot "The Cactus." After he finished showering, he jumped in his car to run back down to the bar where he was going to meet up with a couple buddies of his to shoot some pool. While there hanging out with his buddies, Richard spotted this nice looking brotha with this nice muscular toned body. Now, Richard being a nicely built muscular brotha, bald headed, with tattoos walked up to the brotha and introduced himself. "Wassup, my name is Richard." "Sup, my name is J. B." After introducing
themselves, Richard and J. B. begin to get acquainted with each other. Now, it was obvious from the beginning that the two of them had different motives for their conversing. You see Richard was this brotha who was somewhat of a player and J. B. was a brotha who were more interested in getting to know a brotha before having sex. As the conversation lingered Richard only had one thing in mind and that was to get J. B. back to his crib so that they could get busy with each other in bed. You see Richard loved sex so much until that was his purpose for meeting guys mainly. However on the other hand J. B. was somewhat the opposite. You see J. B. wanted to get to know Richard a little bit better before jumping in the bed. J. B. had come to realized that he had enough one night stand. I mean come on with the body and looks that J. B. had, I'm sure anybody would wanted to have gotten in the bed with him. However wanted more. J. B. wanted to know more about Richard. He would asked questions like, "what type of job you have?, do you attend church?, do you have other siblings?, what city did you grow up in?, etc. Richard would answer them but didn't seem as though that was his interest in J. B. Richard on more than one occasion had no problems telling J. B. that he was only interested in kicking it in the bed with him. Now it was obvious to J. B. he was getting nowhere with Richard fast. So J. B. said to Richard, lets just end this now and say "it was nice meeting each other."
You see so many times if not careful, we'll find ourselves going to failure's house looking for success. We have all at some time or another been a Richard and/or a J. B. I've talked with brothas countless of time about how:
1. They met someone but it didn't work out.
2. The brotha they were dating didn't have much to offer.
3. He didn't have a job and wasn't trying to get one either.
and the list just seems to get longer and more creative. In order to fix the problem we've got to start within ourselves. Ask yourself these questions:
1. How am I?
2. What am I looking for in a person?
3. What will the person need to look for in me?
4. How could this brotha benefit me?
5. Better still how can we benefit each other?
You must begin to not only set goals for your life, but also standards. One of the problems is that we have enough goals. We talk about them each and everyday. Where I'm going to live?, What type of car I'm going to buy next?, What type of degree I'm working on. However you don't hear much talk about what type standards I have in terms of who I date. I believe when we sit down and begin to ask ourselves, what the man I meet must poses then most of our dating problems will begin to lessen. Not only ask yourself what he must poses, but try to get to know as much about him as you can and he's willing to share. So next time you meet a brotha ask him these questions:
1. What's your name?
2. Does your name or your existence have any meaning?
3. What is your purpose for living?
4. Are you living your purpose?
Now make sure you can answer those questions yourself first. Don't set your standards so high until you're unable to reach them yourself. And before you go, this most important thought. If you see warning signs, DON'T ignore them. STOP and adhere to the warning. Those warning signs are there to tell you something for your own good. Remember, How you define yourself will determine your future success. Take care and "be blessed!
